Why You Fail When It Comes To Dopamine
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Well, actually some people can get addicted to over exercising.
This video hurts so much, I'm scared of fighting this battle again.
wow I am in a very similar situation (compared to the redditpost), but my life is going up right now.
Depression is not so strong but I am behind in university and I could drop out after failing this one test (last chance)
But recently I got very motivated by the fact that new relationships arised and that I have overall a very supportive group of friends.
Next time I meet a friend of mine from school and ask her out, because I realised that I might like her more than just a friend.
I am gonna need to escape this hedonistic lifestyle of mine… damn corona this pandemic only increased this hedonistic lifestyle…
Guy 1 in chat: How do we get over the pain?
Dr. K: You dont.
Guy 2 in chat: DEATH
So basically the reason I'm not playing guitar is because I'm too much into the dopaminergic cycle. On any given day, I'll play for 10 minutes or so, not trying to learn or play anything seriously. Then it's just "meh," time to play video games.
All I can say is that I have stopped playing video games and watching erotic videos since since november started (its nov 20 rn) and I feel a lot better. Hiking, hanging out and doint things in school just feels better and I have motivation to start new hobby which are hard like playing the guitar or learning to code, and I don't have any desire to play video games or watch netflix anymore which can suck as sometimes I have literally nothing to do but overall I'm happier than before. What I can add to this video is that dr.K is right about everything here and if you feel empty inside maybe start a detox or as I am "detoxing" get so busy you get no time for playing for a week and than you won't crave games again anyway.
Isn't it the most common cliche? Embrace pain and sacrifice, work hard, be a productive member of society, leave a legacy, sacrifice some more. I can understand this working for people who have an actual dream (like being an artist in this case). But what if you don't?
Sooooo, what if just gave in fully to the dopamine? Stopped feeling ashamed of not having certain things, and made myself completely okay with being a degenerate. Other's can have their opinions and call me a loser but fuck 'em! Would this be better than the strange middle ground I'm in right now? It sure sounds better. Can't have any demons come out to haunt me if I cast them all out with a change of values and a big middle finger to other people's idea of a "good life."
If I try to give up on having a relationship, if I try to fully live the degenerate life while not valuing anything else, will I succed or realize that this isn't actually what I want? Maybe that will give me enough insight to get me into the boring yet fufilling life. It sounds better than where I'm at right now.
Thank you for this. I've been struggling with this problem for years and this has really inspired me to make desperately needed changes. Wish me luck!
Man this hit hard… I'm an artist and everytime there is something hard in my drawing I always go back to Youtube or social media. I don't get anything done.
Powerful.
So you're saying it's not my fault working and socializing never stop feeling like a chore and that that's never actually gonna get better, like people usually say?
If you aren't getting at least a mildly intense dopamine reward from exercise you're either
1. not goal setting and tracking progress.
2. your form exercise has a small margin for progression
3. not sweating enough or really pushing yourself (endorphin central from saunas)
4. gamifying your damn goals !
I get immense pleasure and dopamine from exercise. I do parkour specifically and learning a new trick or sticking a challenge is incredible rewarding. Even weightlifting like deadlifts and calisthenics feel incredible.
I'm in 4 days into dopamine detox
But is day dreaming okay? stuff that randomly pops up in your head like a youtube video that I've watched, or a Netflix series. It sort of taking over my mind and I didn't actually feel bored. How do I fix this?
tldr a fulfilling life is full of pain
Also for people wondering if life is then only suffering if we choose the right path – technically true, BUT, some tips to feel joy:
– THE HARDEST PART: jumping over the intial cliff that is sucking VERY HARD at whatever you want to do.
(Imagine first timing LoL, you went 0/10/0 30cs, it took months until you got a positive KDA, obviously you won't feel positive feelings, the only way to improve is to brute force it, play what you want/follow your interests to keep your mind focused on the goal not the misery you have today) (you also didn't change your main/role every game, you stuck with 1 champ you REALLY LIKED)
– suffering is the only way to change things ("suffering" is also just a construct of the mind, notice the exact moment that you suffer and then try to not attach feelings or identity, think of yourself as a robot that WILL do it's job no matter what) (this is abstract, you cant understand it from 1 sentence)
– if you don't tryhard in the areas that interest you, you will only see the suffering, because its not worth it for the result you get (since you don't want it)
(imagine playing only supp in LoL instead of playing the champs you want only because they're better to gain elo at the moment figuratively speaking )
– if you don't have a balanced tryhard/life cycle you will burnout because, again, you only see the suffering
(make it a rule to split it 50/50 of tryharding and fun shit, DON'T UNDERESTIMATE THIS, you probably will, so please notice the next time you burn out why you did so)
-LOWER THE BAR TO THE LOWEST IT CAN GET. Here your ego will fight you, so you just have to accept sucking NOW for 2 months, because if you don't, you will suck for 6 months because you're just spinning your wheels in 1 place
( When you see someone bench 100kgs, but you can't despite "training for 3 years", you just haven't mastered all the details behind being able to bench 100kgs) (practically, lowering the bar looks something like this: if it works for others but for some reason not for you, the reason is exactly that you don't understand the even simpler subjects first.)
– All of this is basically to combine the part of your biggest desire and achieving flow state.
-By following your desires you will never burn out in the long run (because it SHOULD AND MUST be FUN). Know that if it isn't somewhat fun you will not stick for the long run. Also know that meaningful changes happen in >1 year.
After the tryharding you should do the fun stuff about your desires, it also counts as practice. (if it makes sense for your desires ofc)
Even if there isn't any fun at the moment (because you suck still), then find fun in other areas.
BUT MAKE SURE YOU DID YOUR TRYHARDING
THEN MAKE SURE TO ADD SOME SPICE IN YOUR LIFE AND DO SOMETHING FUN.
By achieving flow state you can assure yourself you did your job on the practical sense of tryharding everyday.
START YOUR SESSION WITH SOMETHING KINDA EASY (like, the thing you practiced yesterday)
THEN GO TO THE HARD STUFF FOR TODAY
THEN GIVE IT 10 TRIES/MINUTES UNTIL YOU GET THE "rusty" OFF OF YOU. (or to just actually grasp fully the thing you need to learn)
ONLY AFTER YOU GRASP IT FULLY, THEN YOU TRY SOMETHING VERY SLIGHTLY HARDER
!!!!!!! If you ignore this, you start immediately with something you suck at, you fail immediately too, your brain will go like "oh man, now I have to do this FOR 3 MORE HOURS" and you drop it.
!!!!!! If you have a small win first, then you fail, your brain will be like "well atleast I won something" or "well, I know it gets better" (notice its only positive, if it ain't positive thoughts, you're doing something wrong from all the above) (and I mean ALL)
!!!!!! you wonder how games are addicting? THE MMR SYSTEM AUTOMATICALLY LETS YOU ENTER FLOW STATE. If you're plat, the mmr system won't let you play againts challangers, neither bronze. This is exactly flow state. Just a bit harder to keep your interest and not overly hard to the point of giving up. Going into art/programming/business/working out, you will either overshoot or undershoot. Imagine wanting to make a riot splash art when you cant even make a proper face. Imagine wanting to bench 100kgs when you can't bench the bar.
END NOTE 1: this is all just a guidance in what to look for, you need to experience it yourself, you will overshoot and undershoot and it is in that "experience" that people talk about when you see others that "got their shit together". It takes time (took me a year to understand how to tryhard properly). Its like adding too much spice or too little spice in your cooking, only after 60 tries you get it perfect and FAST (at the start you will be very slow and you will just fail again lul). Only after ~100 tries you dont even need to follow the recipe or even measure the spice you're adding, you just guess and its perfect everytime. This is how progress looks like.
END NOTE 2: None of this will resonate with you if you don't even have a reason to stop wasting your life with games. That's a whole different game, there are no tips for that, it's only just straight up THINKING about it and random experiences that will give you a different take on life. (like seeing someone else that was trashy like you succeed in life)
It doesn’t get any easier, you just get better at it.
So your life can either be enjoyable or it can be torture. Why the heck would anyone choose torture?
DISCIPLINE is the counter to motivation. It is something you use when you lack motivation.
I'm just going to remove the funny numbers from my dislike button in my mind and everything will be ok 🙂
The channel has been killing it this week. These minimalist thumbnails seem to be paying off !
another lovely video
Bro. ART is HARD as a career. Especially if you're a a perfectionist like me. It's so mentally destroying.
Sorry for making the bad question but then: will i be miserable the rest of my life?
How come every time you post, it's coincidentally the video i need at that moment. How? Just how?
I've been trying to spend less time online, and it made me realize I have no idea what I truly want to do. The tricky thing about getting off the dopamine treadmill is it's hard to tell which things are truly boring/uninteresting to you, and which things just feel boring now but you might enjoy more in the future.
ouch… this resonates a lot with me 12:40
Expecting "boring" things to be as exciting as "fun" things are a big delusion. A delusion that I fell for not so long ago. Essentially, you have to embrace that what will make you happy and fulfilled DOES NOT feel good in the moment, but has the potential to satisfy you long-term.
Life sucks brother
id be happy to debate this subject
"What are you expecting?" Well, I keep getting told they will make me feel "so much better." A lot of the messaging I get is promising that taking a hike and eating kale will be as good or better than eating a bunch of junk food and watching porn.
Gonna go buy harry potter 4
IDK about you guys, but reading actually is pleasing for me. Although it hits differently, it's a different kind of pleasure. It's the same type of pleasure as looking on a beautiful photograph or watching a cinematographically good movie (not funny or engaging one if it makes sense). It's aesthetically pleasing to read words stitched together so masterfully. I love reading classic literature just because classic authors are so good with words they knit together so gracefully, like a masterfully crafted tablecloth.
man dr k coming thru AGAINNNNN 😩 i needed this
goes hand in hand with addiction in general
Choosing the harder path is like getting a winning lottery ticket you can’t cash for a few years. The easy path is just getting scratch offs but not going anywhere.
Take comfort in discomfort.
okay i have a serious question.
you give someone an IV with all the nutrition that they require to survive. additionally, you give them a hypothetical procedure that stops them from becoming less sensitive to dopamine, and also removes any mechanism of emotional regulation. next, you give them a constant source of extreme amounts of dopamine (borderline on overdosing). now, you lay them down and do this for the rest of their existence. if the person is alive and is constantly in bliss, would the only real issue be other peoples' perception of this? i mean, what would the subject do, be sad?
what if an AI took over the world, inserted all of humanity into a region the size of texas, did the aforementioned things to everyone, and created automated breeding so that our species would still exist. the second anyone is born, they feel constant happiness that would never diminish. would humanity achieve actual enlightenment?
I learned that with cigs. I will never not miss being out with the smokers or lighting up a cig when on the road when a great song comes on. But I have a son and made the choice those small ws weren’t as important as being around for him. So as a healthy option I chose to quit smoking 4 years agoz
You're a funny guy.
I don't do detox… I just turn on music to provide stimulation.
Is there a healthy way to enjoy such things??
Dr. K you just made me realize the reason people tend to change their lives after having their lowest lows is because the motivation isn't even working for you anymore and you can lose feelings for those things so you start doing the other shit that is good for you because you will eventually get more for those things but that's why it's so easy for them to get back into the things that motivated them to begin with.
So what I heard was
Focus but don't say the bad things (you are what you eat just notice the shit you're doing)
Do shit you hate (fake it till you make it you are still you intill you are not so become the you you want to be and understand the old you [you are lonely sad and depressed but how is thinking about just reinforces so stop thinking about it])
Pick the shit you want stop complaining and JUST DO IT!
ACCEPT YOURSELF! LOVE YOURSELF!
thinking about it only hurts you
Actually those activities are not neceserarily more rewarding, but they give you a very quick dopamine hit. I got this from an ADHD book "In this state you don’t consciously know if you are happy or not, which is just as good as being happy, if not better, because you are not wasting energy on self assessment."
I used to find books boring, but all I needed to fall in love with them is to first of all select ones that interest me and listen to them sped up and don't hesitate to put them down if they suck. In the past 2-3 years I went from having read about 20-30 books, to like 200.
On one hand I agree with what he's saying, on the other I think we need to consider other factors that might be at play, like medical factors. About 2 years ago I made a choice to stay off drugs and other bad habits that were a constant quick supply of dopamine hits, since then I had to make the decision to live a harder life, but a more fulfilling life, I had to start exercising, eating healthier, taking up other hobbies and doing things with my life that were more "worth" it but more painful. I was able to do it for a long time until one day I just lost all motivation not knowing why and reverted back to easy dopamine hits, video games, youtube, things I could easily access without having to be motivated. I actually tried to get back on track but its like I was unable to do it again. Later it turned out my vitamin b12 levels were low and I had a high cholesterol, both causing extreme fatigue which manifested itself in lack of motivation and pursuing simple pleasures and easy, effortless dopamine hits. Had I not figured that out I would've probably kept going without addressing it, sticking to youtube, video games and all the stuff that doesn't require motivation. There are two sides to this, psychological and medical. I don't advise self medicating, but going to a doctor and getting yourself tested would at least help you understand where the problem is and how to address it.
This post feels like it was taylored for me, thank you for posting this dr K!
I think for some people the "pain" comes from a different place, it looks like it comes from not being able to play games or not enjoying doing boring stuff, but the pain comes from something deeper, at least for me. Anyway doing dopamine detox is not the answer for me.
I'm unironically addicted to hiking whoops lol